Black Money is racist, declare TMC and CPIM

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Times when we agree with CPIM and TMC are rare. And on the rare occasions where we do meet at a common ground, we shouldn’t take a moment to wonder where we are going wrong with our lives but rejoice at the rarest of rare moments of unity.

So, amidst the full-fledged assault declared on Black Money by Modi ji, we take a moment to recall the pearls of wisdom bestowed on us by the great intellectuals of CPIM and TMC. In May, 2015, the bastions of intellect, CPIM and TMC concurred that the term Black Money was racist and an appropriate substitute was an immediate need of the hour. We could not agree more with the gentlemen.

I was bewildered when I couldn’t find a single oped on the internet written in recent times by one of our Desi liberals explaining how the term ‘Black Money’ was racist. After all, their western counterparts have progressed to labeling Air conditioning as sexist. And considering how Indian liberalism is just Western progressivism with a time lag, the complete dearth of articles on the subject was quite unexpected. However, one should take care to remember that Donald Trump’s victory has left our desi liberals reeling in a pool of depression and mocking your rivals in their times of indescribable misery is not very honorable.

Without wasting any more words, I declare that I wholeheartedly agree with Sitaram Yechury and Derek O’Brien that the term Black Money is horribly racist.

How could it not be? It uses the word ‘Black’ to describe a criminal activity. And as FBI statistics reveal, the color Black has absolutely nothing to do with criminal behavior whatsoever. It is a dishonest attempt by privileged groups to malign and demonize certain sections of the society. Not only the term ‘Black Money’, even the fact that children are scared of darkness is evidence of the manner in which our fairness obsessed society have for generations perpetuated an aversion towards dark skin so that fair skinned humans can retain and maintain their privilege over the less fortunate.

The Desi Liberals’ intellectual ancestors in the West have progressed to a point where any criticism of Barack Obama is labeled as Racist and yet, here we are in India, where a term as racist as Black Money attracts no attention at all from our liberal counterparts. Liberals, you had one job, creating an issue where none exists, and you failed even at that. Yes, you have been suffering a lot since 2014 but that is no excuse for abandoning your post when circumstances demand that you take the fight to the next level. Not only that, Black Lives Matters protesters even claimed the downpour of sympathy for the LGBT community post the Orlando attack was an attempt to divert attention from their movement and yet, our liberals cannot fight for an issue as legitimate as this.

Also, Mr. Yechury and Derek O’Brien, since you have summoned the immense courage necessary to confront a bias systemically perpetuated since centuries, I also urge you to take the fight to the term ‘Brown Beard’. In my opinion, the term Brown Bread is just as racist as it legitimizes cannibalistic urges against Brown people such as myself. After all, if Black Money can be racist, then surely Brown Bread can perpetuate feelings that Brown people are just as edible and delicious. As a result, Brown people might feel marginalized and they might feel offended as a community. We must confront evil wherever it raises its head and therefore, if the issue of the term Black Money is serious enough to find mention in the Rajya Sabha, the issue of Brown Bread is surely grievous enough and deserves special mention.

Retrospectively, it seems the fight against patriarchy in India has progressed much more swiftly than that against Racism. Ecofeminism has made great gains in India, a movement that furthers the notion that the Patriarchal mindset is responsible for the exploitation of environment and its degradation. Compared to that, the fight against racism hasn’t received as much attention as it deserves despite the issue of Black money being dominant in the minds of the masses. Modi ji must take care to remember that his surgical strike on Black money would be entirely unproductive if we do not make progress on the core issue here, that is the term. Also, the surgical strike on Black Money might lead people to develop an aversion towards anything and everything that is Black which would culminate in an existential threat for our minority Black community.

Considering all factors, we should take a moment to thank the Gandhi-Nehru dynasty for including provisions against Black Money in our constitution so that Narendra Modi could conduct his surgical strike on it. And before CPIM and TMC, who are quite rattled by demonetization, start alleging that this entire surgical strike on Black Money was an excuse to implement Modi’s fascist design by fueling racism against the Black community, Narendra Modi should leave all matters to rest and address this core issue which was raised by the greatest intellects of the 21st Century. And in the process, should he find the time, Modi ji must ban the usage of the term ‘Brown Bread’ as well. And lastly, we should be ashamed as a society for normalizing the usage of terms as racist as Black Money and Brown Bread.

This is a satire, in case you missed reading the article ‘category’